one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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