before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
