when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
