whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
