is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
