This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
