If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
it was like eating out sand paper
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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