remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
