My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize