ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
