It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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