i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Randomize
