i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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