I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
