What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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