I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
