I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
