just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
