Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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