can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
