i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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