We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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