I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize