Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
