She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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