This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
