DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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