he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
