we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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