Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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