Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
