At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize