Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
wanna go halves on a baby?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
