I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
