Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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