dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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