these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
