But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize