I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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