I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
