considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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