so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
