I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
