I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
