I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
