Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize