the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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