butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
