Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
