We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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