I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
