Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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