Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize