He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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