fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
