I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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