Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
