dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
