I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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