Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My pussy is not your playground.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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